Stay at Home, Part Time or Full time?

Stay at Home, Part Time or Full time?

One of the common questions / guilt /  concerns of mums/parents nearing the time to go back to work is whether to go back to work, or stay at home.

 

In as much as I do appreciate that there might be no right or wrong WAY TO PARENT, I do strongly believe that ingood parenting, some methods over the years have proven to be better than some! When parenting, some things should be considered. After careful consideration, whatever decision you come to, is right. 

So all I am doing here is sharing some areas that I believe should factor in our considerations!


Money

For most people the main reason this question exists is Money. There is a financial need in the family and not everyone has the luxury of having only one parent working. Money is definitely important, but I will like for us to think of these points when it comes to money

  • Will I be ok on a lower salary. Do I have to work full time? Cos this could then interpret as going back part time, adjusting shift work and loads other options
  • Will I be ok on a higher salary? will that solve all my needs?
  • Will I be ok with no salary at all?
  • what is my financial goal?
  • What is the most important thing. Money or time with kids?

 

There might be another way 

I always believe that there is always another way. It might be longer or not pleasant but you will still get there. In essence what I am saying is; that obvious route in terms of career, money etc, is not always the only way. You might need to think outside the box, might need to make new connections, might need to be more creative, might need to explore new areas. So if something is not working for you or doesn't seem to fit you anymore, don't hold onto it. LET GO, move on to something else..as long as its legit of course (sorry just had to add that!)

 

Whose interest?

A lot of times we unconsciously think of our interest but at the end of the day, it's the child's interest that is more important. I hope we can all agree on that one!

And sometimes you do have to make hard decisions, you might lose in some other areas actually. You cant always have your cake and eat it so therefore sometimes something has to give (permanently or temporarily). The question really is, what will give? the child or your interest?

 

Can someone else look after my child properly?

Of course. It takes a lot of people to look after a child. However I do believe the ultimate job lies with the parents. We cant shift our responsibility totally to someone else. Remember each parent has a vision of what they want for their child. No matter how much you tell others, they can not interpret this as much as you can.

 

Can I look after my child alone?

Of course. However, our knowledge is limited and we can definitely learn from other people. Be quick to listen and slow to take actions. This means take all advice in and then review, choose those that are ok and ignore the rest. Also, form networks with others that you like their parenting styles and help each other out; sharing ideas, having play dates, helping one another with child care etc. Why do parenting alone?

 

Is staying at home always the best 

Dont just assume someone staying at home is a better parent. The real question is what are you doing when you are at home with the kids? are you spending your whole day cleaning or cooking all day? are they just watching TV all day? are you at home and doing our own thing all day? Are you engaging them? Are you conscious of the behaviour/example you portray? This is an important point to consider as its not just about staying at home and doing nothing. 

Definitely there are time when all that is needed is your presence but there must be a healthy balance between the two

 

Is going back to work always the best 

Don't just assume working is the best. Yes the person might appear to have gone ahead in their career, they might have all this and that. But do you know what had to give? do you know their financial status? Do you know what stage in their parenting they are at? are their kids the same age as you? so many things to consider. 

Also lets not forget the cost of childcare in some countries; money earned vrs money spent on childcare.

 

The driving force

For most people their lives are ruled by situations. In as much as that could be fine. However I do believe for a healthy individual I do believe that intentional decisions needs to be made. such as planning meals ahead, such as planning your work pattern.Rather than a case of " i just got this job and i need to sort out childcare" can we move towards for example " i want to work 1/2/3/4/5 days a week and stay with my child 1/2/3/4/5 days a week, so am applying for jobs which fit in with this"  Rather than "we just all happen to fancy eating at the table today", can we move towards on this and this days we sit at the table and everyone is expected to be present. 

 

God's way

Being a Child of God. I always put God first in all I do. We are not trying to play God in the lives of our kids. NO God forbid. But we are making decisions while still acknowledging God in their lives and being sensitive and in alignment with god's plan and purpose for them.

So remember you choose the parenting path you want to follow in alignment with GOD's plans and will for your family (for each individual member) and trust that he is with you every step of the way. Let me just leave you with these verses 1Peter 5:2-3, Jeremiah 29:11, Luke 22:42, Proverbs 22:6 and Phil 4:6-7. 

 

Conclusion 

Lets not forget that its a future of a child we are talking about. We cant go back to yesterday so this means we need to make wise decisions today. There is no set rules as to what wise decisions you are to make. However you do have to make some decisions, you do have to have a plan, you do have to think ahead, you do have to think of each child first above anything and anyone else. 

 

 

THE OPINIONS ABOVE ARE MY OWN EXPERIENCES AND THOSE AROUND ME, and MOST IMPORTANTLY MY UNDERSTANDING OF FAITH, LOVE AND HOPE.

If you want to contribute in anyway pls do get in touch

I hope you enjoyed reading this

Please do share, comment and lets discuss

 

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Ultimate WEANING GUIDE

Ultimate WEANING GUIDE

Hello all,

Yes its that time again!!! the times mums are looking forward to...especially breastfeeding mums. lol

Its time to start introducing solids

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Scammed by Angel Management!!! Read this to get your money Back!

Hello all,

Okay guys so I can only assume that you are reading this because you:

1.  Are considering going to Angel management for a shoot

or

2. Have Already been scammed


First of all before continuing, can I kindly ask that you subscribe to my youtube channel to watch more educating and helpful videos about motherhood, kids etc.

Click here

Ok back to the main reason you are here

Angel Management!!!

Lets put it this way, they are a bunch of scammers. Professional ones as well but hey!!! they forget that they can't get away doing this with everyone!  

If any one had told me I would be the one to be scammed at all, I would say NO!!! In big bold capital letters as I am very good at picking those things! Yes I suspected them  but they lied and gave me answers that I wanted to hear.

Who are Angel Management

I won't bore you with how they scam me etc and specific details but here is some information about them

1. They are a bunch of photographers not even a modelling platform or whatever (check your bank statement they are registered as BB photography international)

2. They do not work with any agency at all. Its only TMA they "know" of. They tell you TMA won't charge you anything as you already have pictures blah blah. TMA tells you that you still have to pay them and that they are separate from angel management and there is no link between both!!! They said Angel management has been lying to a lot of people!Alarm bells started ringing at this point! OF course I didn't go to TMA appointment as how would I trust a company who deal with scammers and they admit to knowing that angel management are scamming people!

3. They tell you they have opened a page for his bah blah blah. Their website is a scam. Try searching for your child profile you won't see it. Can only find your child from the link they send you? also no Jobs on there for kids!!! they don't even oversee the website

4. They lie to you and make so many promises I can go on and on but won't bore you so stopping now

All you need to know is they are thieves

 

How do I get my money back?

So how do you get your money back? Here is a step by step guide

1. Go to your bank first! You need to use these exact words "charge-back". Your right to this charge-back in this case is based on the fact that angel-management charged you for a service they did not provide and lied to you to get money out of you. They misrepresented themselves

2. If this does not work tell the operator that you want to make a complaint. Here is why you need to complain. The next point is financial ombudsman and you need to show that you have gone to the highest level with your bank first, which is complaint through the bank. 

3. If number 2 does not work, financial ombudsman service will step in and usually they win the case (if they don't, very unlikely please message me) 08000234567

4. Charge-back can only be made within 120 days of the payment. If you fall out of that date please message me (or leave a comment) and I will tell you what to do.

5. Make sure you inform Trading standards. The more people do, the better as companies like this need to be closed down!!! Citizen advice/tradind standard 03454040506 

6.If you have not Keep sending emails to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.as compiling list of those that got spammed. I am hoping to report them to like Watch dog or something and need as many people as I can get (Not certain I will but if I am able to will do)

7. At all stages you have to be assertive and sound like you know what you are talking about.

 

How did I get my money back

In my case, I called my bank first (nationwide) first and they refused to do it, then called financial ombudsman who said they will take it up but I have to have exhausted the possibilities with my bank first. I called my bank back and they still refused to do it (this time operators was so rude to me). Anyway I asked for a complaint to be opened. Remember you only need to do this so financial ombudsman can take over. Anyway, at the complaints stage, the complaint team at Nationwide decided that actually yes I do qualify for charge back !! YIPEEE finally someone with sense lol. This is because if they don't do it and financial ombudsman intervenes then it will count agains them!

 

What I need to get my money back?

Here is what you need at hand before calling bank or FO

1. The date you went and how much you paid

2. All communication with them (what helped me was I actually asked them loads of questions before going in and they replied with lies). These will need to be forwarded to your bank

3. Remember that the bank are actually reversing a payment so they need evidence. Feel free to include prints out and links from net mum discussion forums etc to proof that Angel Management are scammers.

 

Dont forget its irrelevant they gave you pictures. The fact is those picture and those payment you made were done under false hopes and misrepresentation!. Put it this way if you ordered an iPhone and you got a Samsung phone. Just because you got "something" doesn't make it right. You got the "wrong" thing and as such, are entitled to your money back!

Anyway I can confirm to you that I got my charge back processed by Nationwide and my money has been refunded back to me. I am so excited!. 

I believe with Lloyds and Natwest, its easier those two banks are nicer and less stressful but with banks like Nationwide and HSBC etc you have to push harder.

I hope this will help someone. I am still not done with angel management! As I feel others need to be prevented form the stress I have been through with them. The pictures may be nice but did I really take the day off and took a drive of 2.5 hours for what I could have taken behind my house at a fraction of the price?. Let's not forget that a lot of "good" agencies won't even accept their pictures as they are "not suitable". They are not really modelling pictures more or less photoshoots! 

In October I hope to be releasing another video on my youtube page on how to get your child into modelling and what companies to use, including tips and advice

So be on the look out for that by subscribing here

I hope you have learned one or two things from this blog. Do not forget to visit our youtube channel to watch more videos on parenting and also subscribe to this blog post. 

I hope you found it useful. Feel free to comment, contribute, share and ask questions.
To suggest or contribute to our blog, please contact admin here
 
 

 

 

 

Recent Comments
Ruth
Hi Chloe, thanks for your question. Yes they are right the receipt is not enough evidence to reverse the payment. the receipt just... Read More
Friday, 22 September 2017 22:22
Ruth
Hello Chloe, pls forward me the email. I need to read it as we need to scrutinise it to pick out things we can use against them Pl... Read More
Sunday, 24 September 2017 00:00
Ewa
Hi I had the same expirence with them as well on Thurday the 21st went for photo shoots with my d.... as well was asked to pay and... Read More
Saturday, 23 September 2017 23:13
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My Baby, My precious gift

My Baby, My precious gift

I have been asked to share my pregnancy story by some friends. So here is my motherhood journey thus far. Firstly I must say pregnancy is different for everyone and no two pregnancies are the same, even for the same person. Therefore, these are simply my own experience. I am not trying to teach anyone, but simply sharing my experience

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